Rant

Here I go, I need to rant about the following. Work and mis-communication. It really feels that you are punished for being honest these days. This is a bit of a long story I'll try and start from the beginning. (It also has two parts.)

Part 1) The problem with being honest: About a week ago I was offered a new job dependant on references. Now most people wouldn't tell their current employer that they have a new job as you haven't had the official offer as yet. But because I'm an honest person I thought I would tell them straight away. Now being this close to Christmas I can't really start the new job until after christmas. My contract at the moment doesn't officially end on the 9th January. So in theory I could work there until then and hand in my notice in the last week. But no I have now been told I have to hand in my notice at the end of next week. Which means I will loose 1 days leave entitlement and about a week's worth of pay due to pay day being when it is. And all this around Christmas. I mean if they were out to make a profit I could understand but they are a non-for-profit organisation!!!! What really annoys me is that I have worked my guts out for these people and now because of money and me being honest I'm going to loose money I cannot afford to loose. So if I lied and not discussed notice periods and things with managers I would not be loosing anything but gaining 6 days. How frustrating is it. I know that I should go with the opposite spirit but right now I just feel angry.

Part 2) My chief exec over the last couple of days has made me feel like an idiot because she was under the impression that my role should be 100% office based. But my line manager and senior have kept telling me and the housing officers' I assist to make the most of me having a car so to get out. And I have even sat infront of her in a liason and explained what I do and how many miles I drive on an average month. And now suddenly I am made to feel like I misread the job description, when I saw the job description for the first time- YESTERDAY. Ohhh it's so frustrating.

The most annoying thing about both scenarios is that I lack assertiveness. I wish I had the strength to sit down with managers, colleagues and even friends (only sometimes with friends) and let them know in a rational and logical manner how I feel. Without going bright red. I think that's where most of my anger lies about this, my own lack of assertiveness. But all hope is not lost because I have enrolled in a self help group focusing on assertivenss. Course should start in January. So I already have a New Year's resolution- to find my assertive self again. I know you are down there somewhere!!!!